Teamwork

Ministerial Meandering

Teamwork

There is a distinct possibility that my next few MM’s will have some reference to the fact that we are in the process of moving house to another country.  It rather tends to occupy the mind - and fill the schedule with deadlines and activities that tax the brain, the emotional capacity, and space in the diary.

What came foremost to my mind this morning was how important it is that Sheila and I pull together as a team to make this work.  However motivated we are, it will be twice as hard an evolution if we are pulling in opposite directions.  However obvious that may seem to you, it actually isn’t - and I’ll tell you why.

Leaving a place where you have been happy and fulfilled, and moving to an unknown place, is always going to be accompanied by some sadness.  It would be bizarre if it were not.  But challenges are bitter-sweet, and should be so, because otherwise they would not be challenges at all.  I am well aware that there is some opposition from some members of the family, and also there has been some questioning of the ‘rightness’ of the decision by members of the parish.  But we are born (I think) to push the boundaries, to stretch ourselves, to take risks; if we don’t there are no adventures, no danger, no excitement.

There are those who feel that after a certain age people should ‘slow down’ - and there are many who are happy to do just that.  I suppose if that mould  suits you, then fine - but the ‘mould’ will grow on you.  I watched that happen to my father who spent the majority of his thirty+ years of retirement doing just that.  It became too much effort even to see his next door neighbours for a cup of coffee.  In many ways I’m surprised that he didn’t die earlier than at 93 - but of sheer boredom.

When both my parents were alive - and still together, they would go off and have adventures.  They pulled together, and it worked.  Eventually, sadly, they were pulling in different directions, and although lip-service was paid to their individual needs, it was clear that it would be impossible to work out a practical solution.  Once they had parted, my mother went on to have more adventures, but my father never did - ever again.  His second wife had a similarly obtunded sense of adventure.  He let his passport expire, and when I asked him why he would not visit us in our homes abroad, he would say,  “Why would I want to do that?  I haven’t even visited the Isle of Wight.”  (The Isle of Wight was just off the south coast of England, and my father lived on the south coast.)  But I suppose you could say that he and my step-mother were pulling in the same direction, and so it was teamwork - but the pulling never got either of them further than from their armchairs to the kitchen or bedroom.

I find it enormously encouraging when I hear that some of you in your eighties (= just past middle age) are still going off on adventures.  My Uncle Keith and Auntie Lyn are going off on another cruise shortly, and never cease to be involved both with us - as a church - and their own community at home in England.  They, too, pull together.

It is not necessary to have a life-partner to pull together - but it is essential to have a friend to travel with - even if it is only to the shops or the local cinema.  Our bible study, book club, Men’s Shed, garage sales, and so many other things are all examples of having adventures and pulling together.  I’ve said before - ‘no man is an island’, and we should all take note of Dylan Thomas’ villanelle to his sick father, to ‘Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’ 

Philip+