Forcing It!
Ministerial Meandering
Forcing it
We all know the problems of square pegs and round holes - one of three things happens; you split the peg, you enlarge the hole, or you take voluntary admission to an insane asylum. None of these options gives you the result you were hoping for.
Recently I have felt that I have been attempting something rather akin to such a pointless pastime. Deciding on the next step in my journey. I mentioned a quotation by Mark Twain in my sermon this last Sunday; ‘The two most important days of your life are the day when you were born, and the day you find out why.’ I think I am still struggling with the latter.
Sheila and I spoke briefly about this - because it is, after all, an existential crisis of sorts - and she helpfully said that she thought the answer to ‘why?’, could change throughout our lives. I wonder what you think - can it? Do we truly have multiple raisons d’être?
It is true that we can have more than one career during our lives - as both Sheila and I have found - but from an essential point of view, are they not the same? The basics of each has been service and teaching for both of us.
I have known (as a dog trainer) for a long time that you can teach old dogs new tricks, but I wonder if we aren’t more stubborn and obstinate than dogs in our ability to change. Like it or not, all life involves change, and fighting that reality is a futile exercise. Struggling to maintain the same course when the wind has shifted is just not possible in sail-boat. The axiom is that ‘you cannot change the wind, but you can adjust the sails.’
Our plans to move on from All Saints have met with considerable resistance from many quarters, causing many restless nights and crises of prayer. Second thoughts will always arise, and reluctance and sadness at the thought of moving is painful to deal with. Trying to find God’s will in all of this is not an easy task, and knowing when and where to jump feels, at present, like an impossible decision.
Moments like this affect all of us from time to time, and I know that some of you have had to take such decisions when deciding to move into Care Homes. Younger members of our flock have similar issues to face when offered more than one place at a college or university. Is anything ever a perfect fit? Do we not all have to either split or trim the square peg, or enlarge the round hole to accommodate?
For me - right now - I think I’ll just wander back to the asylum.
Philip+